Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Ruling on kissing and embracing one wife in front of her co-wives!


Is it lawful to kiss and embrace (wives) in front of other wives. Is it haram if the other wife can see when having intimacy (not intercourse) with them with clothes on?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allah has prescribed the
rulings of sharee‘ah as guidance for mankind, and there is nothing in them
that is off-putting or shameful. Rather it is guidance to the best of
conduct. The one who ponders these rulings and understands them will not
need to think hard in order to work out that what is mentioned in the
question about the husband kissing and touching his wife in the presence of
his other wives is undoubtedly an abhorrent and off-putting action which is
contrary to sharee‘ah, decency and modesty. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah
have mercy on him) said:

If a person is uncertain
about the ruling on something, whether it is permissible or forbidden, he
should look at where it leads to and whether there are any bad consequences.
If there are any clearly negative consequences that outweigh anything else,
then it is impossible for the Lawgiver to have enjoined it or permitted it;
rather it is definitively known that it is forbidden, especially if it is
something that leads to that which incurs the wrath of Allah and His
Messenger. Those who have insight will not doubt that this is haraam.

End quote from Madaarij
as-Saalikeen, 1/496 

The basic principle
concerning marital relationships is that they remain private and do not
include anyone other than the husband and his wife. Hence we may understand
why Allah, may He be exalted, forbade children who have reached the age of
discernment from entering their parents’ rooms at times of sleep, rest and
siesta. The only reason for that is the fear that the child’s gaze may fall
upon some ‘awrah, kissing or intercourse, which is the most serious of the
three. Hence too we may understand the reason why Allah, may He be exalted,
forbade spouses to speak of what happens between them in the marital bed.
Were it not that it is not permitted to speak of what happens between the
spouses of their intimate relationship, it would not be forbidden for
children who have reached the age of discernment to enter at times of
privacy or for the spouses to tell people about what happens between them in
the marital bed. 

We think that what we have
said is completely clear. If we add to that what you have mentioned about
this taking place in front of the co-wives of that wife, that is more
emphatically prohibited and forbidden, because of what it causes of
jealousy, severing ties between co-wives, and resentment against the
husband. All of these are things that sharee‘ah dislikes to exist in the
lives of Muslims and there is no way that Islam could allow that.  

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah
have mercy on him) said: 

He should not have intimate
relations where anyone can see them or hear them, and he should not kiss her
or touch her in the presence of other people. 

Ahmad said: I do not like
any option except concealing that completely. 

Al-Hasan said, concerning a
man who has intercourse with one wife where the other can hear it: They used
to disapprove of any sound of intimacy being audible to others. 

And he should not speak of
what happens between him and his wife. End quote from al-Mughni,

Shaykh Muhammad ibn
Ibraaheem (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about the ruling on
kissing one’s wife in front of other people. 

He replied: 

Some people -- Allah forbid
-- who are badly behaved may kiss their wives in front of other people and
so on. This is something that is not permitted. End quote. 

Fataawa ash-Shaykh
Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem, 10/277 

See also what we said in
the answer to question no. 104246 

The husband should develop
the attitude of modesty and instil that in the hearts and minds of his wives
and children.

And Allah knows best.

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