Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Parents watching over their children


As a muslim parent trying to raise my children islamically,what is your advise on searching my childrens belongings and if I find things that are haram or forbidden do I have the right to take them and destroy them even though they are in their possession?.

Praise be to Allaah.


Our advice
is that the mother or father should from time to time examine their
children’s belongings. That is because the Shaytaan may make attractive to
them the idea of keeping something haraam that it is not permissible to look
at or listen to. This is part of the responsibility that Allaah has enjoined
upon parents towards their children. 

For many
sons and daughters, the means of their being guided and their giving up evil
things that they are indulging in is the watchfulness of their fathers and
mothers, and their taking good care of them. It is easy to put a stop to
evil at the beginning, or to warn against bad friends at the beginning, but
if it has been going on for a long time, it will be difficult to rescue sons
and daughters from this bad company. 

In most
cases, it will be possible to find out what bad things your sons and
daughters have by inspecting their bags, reading their books and getting to
know their friends. 

How many
young men and women have wished that their parents had watched what they
were doing and examined their belongings at an early stage, before
corruption took a hold of their hearts. 

Hence we
advise you to do this from time to time, without letting them realize that,
lest they take precautions and avoid keeping anything dubious with their

watching should be done if the parent sees some indication that his child is
starting to go astray. But if it seems that the child is righteous and
keeping away from evil things, then neither the parents or anyone else has
the right to watch over the child or inspect his personal belongings,
because that comes under the heading of suspicion and spying, which Allaah
has forbidden when He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you
who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy

[al-Hujuraat 49:12] 

But if the mother
or father finds something haraam, then they have to destroy it, and then
advise the child in whose possession this evil thing was found. 

It was
narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whoever among you
sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if
he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then
with his heart (by hating it and feeling that it is wrong), and that is the
weakest of faith.” 

(Narrated by
Muslim, 49). 

al-Nawawi said: 

With regard
to the Prophet’s words “let him change it”, this is a positive command,
according to the consensus of the ummah. The Qur’aan, Sunnah and consensus
of the ummah all agree that it is obligatory to enjoin what is good and
forbid what is evil; this is also part of the sincerity (naseehah) which is
the religion. 

enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil is fard kafaayah (a
communal obligation). If some of the people undertake to do it, the rest are
absolved of blame; but if they all fail to do it, then everyone who was able
to do it but did not, with no excuse and no fear, is guilty of sin. 

But it may
become fard ‘ayn (an individual obligation), for example if it is in a place
which no one knows but him, or no one can remove it but him, or if he sees
his wife, his son or his slave doing something evil, or falling short in
doing something good.   

‘Iyaad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This hadeeth sets out the
principle of changing evil. The one who seeks to change it can do so by
whatever means possible, and remove it by word or deeds. So he may break the
instruments of falsehood and spill (alcohol) himself or order that this be
done, and he can take items seized by force and return them to their owners
himself, or he can issue orders that this be done, but he should be gentle
with the ignorant, and also with those in positions of power and status, if
there is any fear of their evil, because they are more likely to respond to
gentleness than harshness. 

Muslim, 2/22-25 

And Allaah
knows best.

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