Thursday, 11 August 2011

She is suffering because of raising her illegitimate children


I have been in a relationship with my husband for over 20 years. When we first met I was not a Muslim but Alhamdulillah Allah guided me to His beautiful deen. My queastion is that we have children but Astagfirullah 4 of them were born before I embraced and we were not married either. I have read recently that children born out of marriage have a certain amount of evil. Is this correct and is there anything I can do to help my situation as this is obviously a very serious matter. Also because my husband was not practising and he did not for a number of years the children never grew up attending the Jummah salat. I did try my best in the early days but myHusband was an alcoholis so this made it very difficult to teach my self let alnoe the children. Now my other major worry is that they do not attend Jummah very much but they are over 16 and should not miss it at all.

Praise be to Allaah.

The child who is born out of wedlock has not sinned and
there is no burden of sin on him for the sin of those who committed zina.
The issue of whether he will be righteous or will go astray depends on
many factors, the most important of which is a good upbringing. If he
receives a good upbringing and does not encounter any rejection or
condemnation from society, he is more likely to become righteous, just
like other children. 

Rather many cases of going astray among children who were
born out of wedlock occur because in most cases they do not receive care or
attention, and they encounter rejection and alienation from people, so they
become easy targets for evildoers and deviants. 

Raising children is something that requires patience and
effort. How many families suffer problems in raising children, especially
when the children enter the adolescent phase and especially if the father is
neglectful or remote or has gone astray. 

Our advice to you is to strive to be patient and persevere,
and to surround your children with compassion and love; provide them with a
good environment and good company; try to fill their spare time with
beneficial things; encourage them to become attached to the mosque or
Islamic centre; encourage them to read and acquire knowledge; strengthen
their faith by always remembering Allah and reading Qur’aan; make the most
of occasions for worship such as Ramadan; and constantly make du‘aa’ and
turn to Allah, may He be exalted, and ask Him to guide them and set their
affairs straight. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three
prayers that will undoubtedly be answered: the prayer of one who has been
wronged; the prayer of the traveller; and the prayer of a father for his

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1905; Abu Dawood, 1563; and Ibn
Maajah, 3862. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Al-Azeemabaadi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The
prayer of a father for his child” refers to a father’s prayer for or against
his son; no mention is made of the mother because her rights are greater, so
her du‘aa’ is more likely to be responded to.

End quote from ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 4/276 

You should strive to guide your husband and bring him back to
righteousness, so that he will take part in raising and guiding the
children. You should pay particular attention to the greatest of obligatory
duties, namely prayer, because prayer is the foundation of faith and the one
who does not pray has no share in Islam. 

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to grant you the joy of
seeing them all become righteous and upstanding. 

And Allah knows best.

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