The father refuses to prepare his daughter to get married – does her maternal uncle have to do that?

If the father refuses to prepare his daughter to get married, does her maternal uncle have to spend on preparing her?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

In the answer to question no. 2127 we have discussed the rulings on marriage in detail, and we have defined who is the guardian for marriage purposes. 

From this it is known that the maternal uncle is not one of the woman’s guardians with regard to marriage. If her father refuses to spend on her wedding and on preparing her for marriage, then does her maternal uncle have to do that in this case? 

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) told us that the maternal uncle is not obliged to spend on her; in this case the closest male relatives on the father’s side are the ones who are obliged to spend, such as her brothers and paternal uncles; or the husband has to spend it and it becomes part of her mahr. 

And Allaah is the source of strength.

Does a son or daughter have the right to refuse the person whom the parents choose for them to marry?

To what extent to parents have right to chose your life partner?what if they force you to get married to someone in the family and that's the not the ultimate choice in mind to what extent are you convicted if you refuse.Do you have the right to opposed to the choice that your parents have choosen for you?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The basic principle is that one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of both parties, because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) which says that the Prophet said: “A virgin cannot be married until her consent has been sought and a previously-married woman cannot be married until she has been consulted.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her consent?” He said, “If she remains silent.” 

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419) 

Consent is essential in the case of the husband, and also in the case of the wife. The parents have no right to force their son or their daughter to marry someone they do not want. 

But if the person whom the parents have chosen is righteous, then the child, whether male or female, should obey the parents in that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 865). 

But if obeying them will lead to divorce later on, then the child does not have to obey them in that, because consent is the foundation of the marital relationship, and this consent must be in accordance with sharee’ah, which is approval of the one who is religiously committed and of good character. 

Shaykh Dr. Khaalid al-Mushayqih 

A child is not considered to be disobedient or sinful if he does not obey his parents in this regard. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: 

The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.  

Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344.

Marrying an ex-Christian woman who has become Muslim recently and has a child

I have a very good friend who embraced Islam only a couple of months ago.
She was married and had a child with her Christian husband. The marriage is now annulled after her conversion and she has the custody of the child.  
I want to marry her and support her child but my parents are not allowing me to do so. I am proud to say that I was God's tool for the conversion of this girl.
But now I face this tough situation. On one hand my parents seriously resisting my wish and are not ready to allow me to marry this girl because she comes from a different culture and society and also has a son from her previous marriage.
And on the other hand I know that this girl needs a lot of help with her life and religion and I want to help her by marrying her and taking her child as my son.  
Please advise me in the light of Qura'an and Sunnah, whether I should go ahead with my choice and judgement or should I leave her alone according to my parents' will  even after knowing that the only reason they are rejecting her is because she comes from a different country and culture?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Parents have important rights over their children, hence Allaah mentioned the command to honour parents in conjunction with the command to worship Him Alone, as He says: 

“And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but Allaah (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents”
[al-Baqarah 2:83] 

“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…”
[al-Nisa’ 4:36] 

“Say (O Muhammad): Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents…”

[al-An’aam 6:151] 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”

[al-Isra’ 17:23] 

Honouring parents, treating them kindly and striving to please them are among the greatest of good deeds and best of characteristics.  

It is known that a man does not have to marry a particular woman, so if there is a conflict between pleasing his parents and marrying a woman he wants, then he should undoubtedly give precedence to pleasing his parents. 

Al-Tirmidhi (1900) and Ibn Maajah (2089) narrated from Abu’l-Darda’ that a man came to him and said, “I have a wife and my mother is telling me to divorce her.” Abu’l-Darda’ said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘The father is the best door to Paradise.’ So if you want, you may ignore this door or pay attention to it.” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

What Abu’l-Darda’ said has to do with divorce, which is more serious than the issue at hand, because divorce is a very serious matter. Hence the correct view is that you do not have to obey your parents in this matter. (See al-Adab al-Shar’iyyah by Ibn Muflih, 1/447) 

Based on the above, you should try to convince your parents to let you marry this woman. If they insist on refusing then our advice is to obey them. The woman will find a righteous husband to marry in sha Allah, and you will have the reward of having brought her to Islam, praise be to Allaah. 

And Allaah knows best.

Does a man need to have a wali to get married?

Is it important for a male to have a wali during his nikah.if this is the case can any male relative act as his wali.

Praise be to Allaah.  

A man does not have to have a wali at the time of the marriage contract, rather the man is the one who enters into the marriage contract by himself. It is the woman who needs to have a wali, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to the hadeeth narrated by ‘Aa’ishah: “Any woman who gets married without a wali, her marriage is invalid, invalid, invalid.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; classed as hasan by Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. 

But if a man is insane or feeble-minded, he has to have a wali (guardian). If he is of sound mind, however, he does not need a wali.

He wants to get married during the month of Ramadaan

I want to know that a man love a girl and want to marry her in the holy month of ramadan he wants to talk her is there any ristriction in islam that he cant marry that girl and he cant talk to her in the holy month of ramadan.he loves that girl so much he want to marry that girl so give me suggestion about this matter.

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing in Islam to suggest that it is not allowed to get married during the month of Ramadaan because it is Ramadaan, or in any other month. Rather marriage is permitted on any day of the year. 

But the one who is fasting in Ramadaan must refrain from eating, drinking and intercourse from dawn until sun set. So if he can control himself and there is no fear of him doing something that will break his fast, there is nothing wrong with him getting married in Ramadaan. 

It seems that those who want to start married life in Ramadaan usually cannot be patient and keep away from their new wives throughout the day, and there is the fear that they may do something that is forbidden and they may fall into grave sin, for which it is obligatory to make up that day’s fast and offer a severe expiation, which is freeing a slave; if that is not possible then they must fast for two consecutive months; if that is not possible then they must feed sixty poor persons. If intercourse happens repeatedly on a number of days, then this expiation must also be repeated for the same number.  

See questions no. 1672 and 22960. 

Our advice to this questioner is that if there is the fear that he may not be able to control himself, he should delay his marriage until just after Ramadaan, and he should keep himself busy during Ramadaan, with worship, reading Qur’aan, praying qiyaam, and other acts of worship. 

With regard to the ruling on speaking during Ramadaan to the one whom he wants to marry, we have already answered this question. Please see questions no. 13791 and 13918. 

And Allaah knows best.

Is it permissible for a wife to give up her share of inheritance without her husband’s permission?

My husband was away for four months and during his absence I went to the court and gave up my right to my share of my father’s estate willingly. My husband objected to that because before my father died he bought a piece of land from him, but the transfer of title was not done officially, and he is afraid that my brothers will deny him his rights. Am I wrong?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

A woman has the right to dispose of her wealth however she wants, if she is mature and knows what she is doing. This is the view of the majority of scholars. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

The apparent meaning of what al-Khuraqi said is that a woman who is mature and knows what she is doing has the right to dispose of all her wealth, by giving it in charity or by buying and selling. This is one of the two views that were narrated from Ahmad, and this is also the view of Abu Haneefah, al-Shaafa’i and Ibn al-Mundhir. There is another view narrated from Ahmad, which is that she does not have the right to dispose of more than one-third of her wealth for nothing in return, except with her husband’s permission. This is also the view of Maalik.  

From al-Mughni, 4/299. 

See also question no. 48952 

But in the interests of a good relationship with her husband, the wife should tell him about that, especially in this case where there is the possibility that he may lose out on his rights to your brothers. 

So long as you have in fact given up your right to your inheritance, you should try now to please your husband and remind your brothers of his rights to their father’s land, and that they have no right to deny him because giving others their rights is such an important matter and consuming the wealth of others unlawfully is such a grievous sin. 

And Allaah knows best.

It is not permissible for one of the spouses to prevent pregnancy without the consent of the other

A woman came to a gynaecologist to ask her for contraceptive medicine without her husband’s permission, on the grounds that this woman’s husband had another wife and he had children from her, and she was still studying in the university. Is it permissible for the doctor to prescribe this medicine for her or should she refuse?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is haraam for her to use contraceptives without her husband’s consent, because it is the right of both husband and wife to have children. Hence the scholars said that it is haraam for the husband to withdraw from his wife without his wife’s consent. 

“Withdraw” here refers to ejaculating outside the vagina (‘azl) lest the woman become pregnant. But if both spouses agree to taking these pills, it is permissible, because that is akin to ‘azl, which was practised by the Sahaabah, as Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: We used to practise ‘azl at the time when the Qur’aan was being revealed. 

In other words, if it had been forbidden the Qur’aan would have forbidden it. However, it is better not to take these pills because that goes against the wishes of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for this ummah, that they should have many children. 

I tell you that the ones who first invented these pills were the Jews and other enemies of the Muslims, who want to eradicate this ummah and reduce its numbers, and leave it dependent upon other, because the smaller their numbers the smaller their productivity, and the greater their numbers the greater their productivity – in agriculture, industry, commerce and in every field. Nations are feared more than others if they are greater in number, even if they are not advanced in industry, because large numbers alarm the enemy.  

So we call upon the Muslims to have many children, so long as there are no circumstances such as sickness or poor health on the woman’s part or she cannot give birth without surgical intervention, because these are cases of necessity and cases of necessity are subject to different rulings. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/556 

See also question no. 21169. 

If taking these pills is haraam, then it is haraam to help her to obtain them, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression”

[al-Maa'idah 5:2].

Her family took her away without her husband’s permission

I have a brother who has been married for several years, and he has a son and a daughter. He often has arguments with his wife, then they make up. The most recent incident was when she started to cursing her parents-in-law, then she went even further and hit her husband. Then she told her family, and they came and took her away without her husband’s permission. There is a lot of immorality and lack of religious commitment, the extent of which Allaah only knows. We have tried to advise them on many occasions but without success.
 I hope that you can help us and tell us to which department we may refer this matter, so that we can put an end to it.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for a woman to go out of her husband’s house without permission, rather many of the scholars regarded this as nushooz (defiance) and going against the husband, if there is no excuse for doing that, such as if her husband is harming her in a manner that she cannot ward off and so on. 

Moreover, if the wife is withholding herself from her husband, he is no longer obliged to spend on her because of her defiance, as the fuqaha’ have stated. See al-Mughni, 8/182. 

Secondly: 

What your brother should do is to handle the situation wisely and carefully in order to bring his wife back home. He should remind her of Allaah, and remind her family of Him; if he cannot do that himself, then he should enlist the help of some relatives who have knowledge, experience and wisdom, and get them involved so that they can solve the issue. 

He should exercise deliberation and not be hasty in taking decisions, for “Deliberation is from Allaah and haste is from the Shaytaan,” as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1895). 

A man may make a decision at the time of anger, then regret it, but at a time when regret will be to no avail. 

He should also adopt an attitude of patience, put up with his wife and try to put an end to the disputes between them that have gone on for years and years. Let him start a new life with her, forgetting the past and its arguments. 

Thirdly: 

No one is perfect, so he should accept her good points and overlook her bad points, and try to change her in a wise and calm manner. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman, for if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” 

Al-Nawawi said: 

This means that he should not hate her, because if he sees in her a characteristic that he dislikes, he will find another that is pleasing; she may be bad-tempered but at the same time religiously-committed, or beautiful, or chaste, or kind to him, and so on. End quote. 

This is how all people are; they have good qualities and bad qualities. The wise man is the one who strikes the right balance between good and bad, accepting the good things and overlooking the bad, whilst also trying to correct them. 

Fourthly: 

If the husband does all that but the woman still does not change, then he may refer to the shar’i courts to resolve this dispute. 

And Allaah is the One Whom we ask to set the affairs of all the Muslims straight. 

And Allaah knows best.

Can the wife of a prisoner wear provocative clothing for him when visiting him?

In some Muslim countries those who are religiously committed and adhere to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) are detained and imprisoned. 
The wives of these prisoners visit their husbands and the visits occur in a place where they are allowed to sit with them. Of course these sisters wear niqaab and they put something like a tent over their heads so that their husbands can see them. But some of the sisters wear revealing blouses so that their husbands can enjoy looking at them, because they have been in prison for 6 years or more. Is it permissible for a sister to do that, knowing that no one else can see her except her husband? As I said, they do that to reduce the pain suffered by their husbands.

Praise be to Allaah.  

A woman may adorn herself for her husband in various ways and uncover her charms before him at any time, because he has the right to enjoy intimacy with her. 

With regard to what you have mentioned about doing that inside the prison, there is nothing wrong with that, subject to two conditions: 

1 – That no stranger (non-mahram) can see the woman, either directly or through surveillance equipment. 

2 – That this does not have a negative effect on the husband, such as provoking his desires and inflaming his emotions, or causing him to compromise his religious commitment and give up his adherence to the truth that he is following, because he wants to get out and go to his wife and children. Allaah has warned us that our wives and children may be a source of fitnah (temptation) who may prevent a man from doing that which Allaah has enjoined upon him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allaah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His Cause, then wait until Allaah brings about His Decision (torment). And Allaah guides not the people who are Al-Faasiqoon (the rebellious, disobedient to Allaah)”

[al-Tawbah 9:24] 

“O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (who may stop you from the obedience of Allaah); therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Taghaabun 64:14] 

‘Attaar ibn Yassaar said: All of Soorat al-Taghaabun was revealed in Makkah, apart from these verses, which were revealed concerning ‘Awf ibn Maalik al-Ashja’i, who had wives and children, and when he wanted to go out for jihad they wept and tore at his heart, and said, “Who are you leaving us to?” He felt sorry for them so he stayed, then this whole verse was revealed in Madeenah concerning ‘Awf ibn Maalik al-Ashja’i. 

Al-Tirmidhi narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said, when a man asked him about this verse: Those were some men from Makkah who became Muslim, and they wanted to go and join the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [in Madeenah], but their wives and children refused to let them go to join the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they finally came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) they saw that the people had learned a great deal about Islam, and they wanted to punish (their wives and children), then Allaah revealed this verse. This was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 3317. 

We ask Allaah to make His religion prevail and to relieve the distress of our Muslim brethren, for He is Able to do that.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vilified and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are postulated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity center of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Almighty All these reply can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us link up hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Her husband only gives her maintenance, and he lives far away from her. Can she ask for a divorce?

Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allaah, 
I have been divorced (with talaaq) two times. The first time was because I asked my husband to give me and my children just one day each month when we could sit together, against his wishes and those of his family. The second time was because he loves another woman and he humiliates me in front of my children, and he shows favour to her and does not care about my feelings or the feelings of my children. He tells her that he loves her on the phone, where I can see and hear him, even though he is not married to her. Now he had traveled and left me alone with our children, and he has no connection with us apart from some money which he sends via his family.
 If I get divorced, will Allaah compensate me with something better and make me independent of means by His bounty, and will He compensate me for the wrongs that have been done to me by this hard-hearted man? Or will that mean that I am not content with the decree of Allaah? Do I have the right to have a husband with whom I can live in love, mercy and tranquility, or do I have to put up with living a life of humiliation, me and my children, for the sake of this monthly allowance that he sends via his family in order to humiliate me even further? Am I regarded as patient or as weak and broken because I have put up with this life for 11 years for fear of the word of divorce?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

Allaah has permitted a man to have several wives, and has forbidden men to mistreat their wives. If a man wants to have more than one wife, then he can keep the first wife on a decent and reasonable basis, or he can let her go in a kindly manner. It is not permissible for him to keep her married to him whilst forsaking her and not giving her her rights. It is not permissible for him to be negligent with regard to his family and the upbringing of his children. Plural marriage has not been prescribed in order to destroy families, rather it is prescribed to build families and increase their numbers. 

This forsaking of his wife and negligence is haraam for him, even if he had another wife according to sharee’ah, so how about if he is forsaking his wife and neglecting his family for an illegitimate reason such as a haraam relationship and corrupt desires? 

Secondly: 

The wife has the right to ask for a divorce from her husband if she cannot bear his bad treatment. This does not mean that she does not accept the decree of Allaah. Indeed in some cases it may be haraam for her to stay with a husband who commits major sins and whose children are not safe from his evil influence and bad treatment. As divorce is allowed in Islam and it may even be obligatory to ask for a divorce in some cases, there is no need to think that this may go against belief in the divine will and decree, because Allaah has decreed both marriage and divorce. 

The wife has the right to live with her husband and be treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and to have a husband with whom she can feel happy and who will be like a garment for her, so that there will be love and compassion between them. This is the reason for which marriage was prescribed, and if anything detracts from what we have mentioned, then it is contrary to the reason for which marriage was prescribed. 

Hence the husband should choose a woman who is religiously-committed, and fathers and guardians should marry their daughters and female relatives under their care to men who are religiously-committed and of good character, because if the Muslim household is established on the basis of the laws of Allaah, no wrongdoing or cruelty will be seen in it. If a wife dislikes her husband for a legitimate shar’i reason, then she can ask for divorce (talaaq) or can divorce him by khula’, and if he dislikes her he can divorce her by talaaq and give her her rights in full. He should either retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness.  

If divorce takes place, then Allaah may decree that she finds a good, righteous husband, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”

[al-Nisa’ 4:130] 

Thirdly: 

Some woman stay and put up with their husbands because of the possibility that Allaah may reform them, or so that he will remain in contact with his children and take care of them and spend on them. If a long time goes by and he does not reform or he mistreats his wife and children too much, and she has sufficient money to spend on herself and her children, then there is no point in her staying with him. Rather the right thing to do is to rid herself of him so that she can live a better and more decent life, and raise her children to obey Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 

You should take stock of yourself and repent to Allaah for any sins or transgressions that you may have committed against the rights of Allaah or the rights of your husband, or anyone else. Perhaps what has happened to you may be a punishment for a sin that you have committed, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”

[al-Shoora 42:30] 

Think long and hard about your situation and how likely it is that you may find a husband after him or live a peaceful life without him. Consult people around you who are close to you and are sincere. I advise you, if they agree with you, to divorce him if the situation is as you describe in your question. So pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance, and if you feel at ease with the idea of divorce then go ahead, and ask Allaah to make you independent of means by His bounty. We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to relieve your distress and reconcile between you if that is better for you both. 

And Allaah knows best.

She has received a proposal from a young man who works as a producer for magazine programs on television

I am a young woman aged 26. I have received a marriage proposal from a young man who is of good character and religiously committed, and all his attributes are good. He is goodhearted and kind, but the reason I am hesitating to marry him and am delaying my response to his family is his job. He is currently a producer of programs and contests on television. The program that he produces is broadcast in the mornings contains various sections such as news, tourism, health, sports and interviews, and they are not free of clips of traditional songs, and both men and women appear on the program. 
My question is: is the salary that he gets from this job halaal or haraam? Should I marry him? Because frankly I would like him as a husband because of the ties between us; from the time I was very young I liked him. Or would I be sinning by marrying him and would I be disobeying my Lord? Were it not for fear of Allaah, I would not bother to ask; and your answer will help me to make my final decision.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

You have done well to ask about matters of your religion and to pay attention to making sure that the source of your provision is halaal and to seek to marry a righteous man. We ask Allaah to make that easy for you. 

Secondly: 

Working in the production of programs and contests on television in the manner that you describe, which includes mixing between the sexes, songs and music, is work that includes both halaal and haraam, good and evil, because it is proven that mixing, musical instruments and showing images of women are haraam. Whatever is haraam, it is not permissible to produce it or to help in that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment”

[al-Maa’idah 5:2] 

“Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you know not”

[al-Noor 24:19] 

and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever calls people to right guidance will have a reward like that of those who follow him, without that detracting from their reward in the slightest, and whoever calls people to misguidance will have a burden of sin like that of those who follow him, without that detracting from their burden in the slightest.” Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh (4831). 

See also the answer to questions number 1200 and 5000. 

The part of his salary that results from the haraam part of his work is haraam. 

With regard to contests, some of them are permissible and some are haraam. Contests in which the participant pays money, even if it is the cost of a phone call, are haraam and are a type of gambling. 

Moreover, it is no secret that working in this environment is not free of other evils, because of mixing and because usually people who work there are included to evil and are lacking in religious commitment. 

Hence you should advise this young man. If he repents to Allaah and gives up this work, and finds a permissible job, there is no reason why you should not marry him. But if he continues in this job, there is nothing good for you in him because his wealth is mixed and contains both halaal and haraam, and there is no guarantee that he will not weaken and change because of the environment in which he works. 

We ask Allaah to bless you with a righteous husband and righteous offspring. 

And Allaah knows best.

Should the suitor be informed that the woman he wants to propose to has the problem of bedwetting?

My sister is suffering from bedwetting since early age. Now she is 20 years old, and all members of family know about this problem. We have been searching for a she-doctor or even a he-doctor to help us. Now, a young man next to us told me, as her brother, about his desire to marry my sister. Since this moment, I am very sad, feeling depressed, thanks to Allah anyway, and I asked him to give me some time to think. What shall I say to my mother who is sick with blood pressure and diabetes or my father who is very old? Not to mention other family troubles, even me, I was in a bad psychological state. Afterwards, I met our neighbor again not knowing what to tell him, hesitating, and confused, but in last I told him that this engagement can't happen currently, he replied: "If you don't agree, just tell me." I told him that all matter is that we have circumstances, then told him that my sister is suffering from a psychological problem, he asked about nature of this problem but I was unable to clarify more for him. Since that day, I am very regretful that I said so and can't sleep feeling guilty. After a while, I reached a very clever he-doctor and already medication has started, thanks to Allah there is a great improvement in her case, and now after medication and taking precautions my sister is rarely bedwetting after she had been making it daily. The case comes back only when she have a large amount of drinks. Now should I go to our neighbor, the polite young man, and clarify all things to him? Or I shouldn't talk about my sister problem?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If there is any illness or defect that could affect married life or it could put one spouse off the other, it must be disclosed and it is haraam to conceal it. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Every fault which puts the other spouse off, so that the purposes of marriage, namely compassion and love, cannot be achieved, mean that the spouse has the choice of annulling the marriage. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/166)  

See also the answer to question no. 111980. 

Bedwetting is a fault that the suitor must be told about, but if your sister has recovered, or there is the hope that she will recover soon, then you do not have to inform her suitor. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: There is a man who proposed marriage to a woman, and it is known that this woman has a physical defect, but this defect is hidden and is not obvious, and there is the hope that this defect may be cured, such as leprosy or vitiligo. Should the suitor be informed of that? 

He replied: If a man proposes marriage to a woman who has a hidden defect, that some people know about, if the suitor asks about it, it is obligatory to tell him; this is clear. If he does not ask about it, then he should be told about it, because this comes under the heading of sincere advice, especially if there is no hope of it being corrected or cured. But if there is the hope that it may be corrected or cured, then it is less serious. But there are some things that may be cured, but the process is slow, if indeed it is even possible, such as leprosy, and to the best of my knowledge I don’t think it can be cured completely. Therefore a differentiation should be made between that which may be curable quickly, and that which is curable but will take some time. 

End quote from Liqaa’aat al-Baab al-Maftooh@ah, 5/question no. 22 

And Allah knows best.

He wants to get married but his sperm count is low; does he have to disclose that?

There is a young man who has not got married yet, but he found out that he has varicose veins on his testes. He did a test of his sperm and the result was bad; his sperm count was two million per millilitre and the motility was very very weak. Then he had surgery on the varicose veins, and after three months he did another test on his sperm and found that the result was much improved, but he still needed treatment because the improvement may only last three to twelve months.
Now the number of sperm per millilitre is fourteen million, and the motility increased to approximately 10%. 
Based on the explanation given by the doctors, it is essential to have a count of twenty million at least and motility of 50% at least, but the doctor who is treating him is optimistic about the final outcome, although the treatment will continue for another three months.
Now he wants to propose marriage. Should he tell the wife or not? Please note that the hope of improvement is there, in sha Allah.

Praise be to Allaah.

Having a low sperm count and low sperm motility of the level mentioned is regarded as a fault which must be disclosed, and it is not permissible to conceal it, because of what it may lead to of not having children. Having children is one of the most important aims of marriage, so the wife has the right to have children just as the husband has the same right. 

If a man gets married and is aware of this weakness, and cannot have children, that is more likely to put the wife off him and make her regard him as having deceived her. 

Hence Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who married a woman but could not have children: “Tell her that you are sterile and give her the choice.” Quoted in Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/183 

It says in Masaa’il al-Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, narrated by Abu Ya‘qoob al-Kawsaj (no. 1282): I said: What about the man who marries a woman when he is sterile and cannot have children? 

Ahmad said: I prefer the one who knows that about himself to disclose it; perhaps his wife wants to have children. 

Ishaaq said the same as he said, because he cannot deceive her. End quote. Narrated by Ibn Qudaamah in al-Mughni (6/653). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim favoured the view that sterility is regarded as a fault that constitutes grounds for annulment of the marriage, unlike the majority of scholars. 

See: al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 30/268 

See also the answers to questions no. 85101 and 112455. 

Based on that, this young man has to tell his fiancée, then if she accepts, that is up to her. 

If he hopes that the situation will improve and the problem will be resolved within a short time as mentioned, then he may delay proposing marriage until that time. 

We ask Allah to guide and help us and you. 

And Allah knows best.

Should he interfere to prevent the marriage of a girl to a person with whose brother she had a relationship?

Is it allowed to marry with a girl who had relation with the elder brother of the boy(Allah knows the extent of relation but they were like girl friend and boy friend). The boy doesnt know the relation of this girl with his elder brother and no one else in both families but some friends of his elder brother does know that. Now the both families has decided their marriage, so tell us is it allowed or they shouldnt marry ?.

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with the girl marrying this suitor, subject to  two conditions: 

1.     That she has repented to Allah from the haraam relationship, and if it reached the point of zina, it is not valid to marry a woman who committed zina until after she repents. 

See the answer the question no. 85335. 

2.     That there is no danger of a resumption of her relationship with his brother. This marriage may make it easy for the relationship to resume and continue, especially in households where no attention is paid to preventing free mixing. That would cause a great deal of trouble, as is obvious. 

Based on that, if it is known that she is still in this relationship or there is the fear that it may resume, based on what is seen of circumstantial evidence, then in this case the one who has knowledge of the situation should interfere in order to prevent the marriage, so as to denounce evil and protect the honour of the Muslim. So he should advise the suitor to forget about this woman in a way that will not lead to conflict and division between the two brothers; rather he should speak in general terms, such as saying; “She is not suitable for you,” or “she is not good for you,” and so on. 

If it is known that the relationship has ended and there is no fear of it being resumed, then praise be to Allah, and there is nothing wrong with this marriage, as stated above. 

And Allah knows best.

Is it permissible for the woman’s guardian to refuse to give her in marriage to someone who is compatible, because of some problems between the two families?

I would like to know if it is permissible for the parents to reject a guy for their daughter because the parents had some problems with the guys family 30yrs ago but the two families always maintained a good relationship between each other.And the guys family are religious they have a good status in the society the guy is also religious.

Praise be to Allaah.

The Muslims should put an end to all disputes among themselves that may generate resentment and hatred. The believers are brothers and Allah has enjoined reconciliation between believers who are fighting. He also described them as brothers in the faith. 

So they should try to forget this resentment, especially if they have any measure of religious commitment, as it says in the question. If the guardian hopes that this marriage may be a means of removing that resentment and hatred, then he is enjoined to go ahead with arranging a marriage for two reasons: 

1.     Because the woman has received a proposal from a man who is compatible

2.     In order to try to deal with the hostility (between the families). 

Al-Tirmidhi (1084) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If one of you receives a marriage proposal (for his daughter or other female relative under his care) from one whose religious commitment and good character are pleasing to you, then give (your daughter or female relative) to him in marriage, for if you do not do that there will be turmoil in the land and a great deal of mischief.”

Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

But if the guardian fears that there will be a renewal of the problems and that his daughter may be wronged and ill-treated by this family, and they will not treat her kindly, then in this case it is permissible for him to refuse this marriage, because the guardian is acting in the interests of the one who is under his guardianship, and her interests in this case are served by not marrying this man. 

And Allah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are involved if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Word of God with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we carry on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all needs to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen action to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Maker All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our job. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

 

Are the Jews and Christians who exist nowadays mushrikeen (polytheists) and is it permissible to marry their women?

What is the ruling on marrying a Jewish or Christian woman? Are the Jews and Christians of this age regarded as people of the Book or as mushrikeen?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Marriage to a Jewish or Christian woman is permissible according to the view of the majority of scholars. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/99):

There is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the permissibility of marrying free women of the people of the Book. Among those from whom this view was narrated are ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan, Talhah, Hudhayfah, Salmaan, Jaabir, and others.

Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is no sound narration from any of the earliest generation to suggest that this is haraam. Al-Khallaal narrated, with his isnaad, that Hudhayfah, Talhah, al-Jaarood ibn al-Mu’alla and Udhaynah al-‘Abdi all married women from among the people of the Book. This was also the view of the rest of the scholars.

The main evidence concerning that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers”

[al-Maa'idah 5:5]

What is meant by muhsanah (translated here as chaste) is free and chaste women. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer:

This is the view of the majority here, and this is what appears to be the case; lest she not only be a dhimmiyah but also unchaste, in which case she will be totally corrupt and her husband will end up as described in the proverb, “He bought bad dates and was cheated in weights and measures too”. The apparent meaning of the verse is that what is meant by al-muhsanaat (chaste women) is women who refrain from zina, as Allaah says in another verse (interpretation of the meaning):

“they (the above said slave-girls) should be chaste [muhsanaat], not committing illegal sex, nor taking boyfriends”

[al-Nisa’ 4:25]

The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and mushrikeen, according to the Qur’aan, but they are excluded from the prohibition on marrying their women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]

This is the clearest way of reconciling between the two verses.

Allaah has described them as being mushrikeen as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians) were commanded [in the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah (God — Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)”

[al-Tawbah 9:31]

So they are kuffaar and mushrikeen, but Allaah has permitted us to eat their meat and to marry their women if they are chaste. This is an exemption from the general meaning of the verse in Soorat al-Baqarah.

But it should be noted that it is better and safer not to marry women of the people of the Book, especially nowadays. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “… as this is the case, it is better not to marry a woman of the people of the Book, because ‘Umar said to those who married women of the people of the Book: ‘Divorce them,’ so they divorced them, except Hudhayfah. ‘Umar said to him: ‘Divorce her.’ (Hudhayfah) said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal, divorce her.’ He said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal.’ He said: ‘I know that she is a live coal, but she is permissible for me.’ A while later, he divorced her and it was said to him: ‘Why did you not divorce her when ‘Umar commanded you to?’ He said: ‘I did not want the people to think that I had done something wrong (by marrying her).’ Perhaps he was fond of her or perhaps they had a child together so he was fond of her.”

Al-Mughni, 7/99

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the woman of the people of the Book is known to be chaste and to keep away from the means that lead to immorality, it is permissible, because Allaah has permitted that and has permitted us to marry their woman and eat their meat.

“But nowadays there is the fear that those who marry them may be faced with much evil. They may call him to their religion and that may lead to their children being raised as Christians. So the danger is very real and very serious. To be on the safe side, the believer should not marry them. And in most cases there is no guarantee that the woman will not commit immoral actions, or bring along children from a previous relationship… but if the man needs to do that then there is no sin on him, so that he can keep himself chaste and lower his gaze by being married to her. He should strive to call her to Islam and beware of her evil and of allowing her to drag him or the children towards kufr.”

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/172

And Allaah knows best.

A realistic look at marriage to women of the People of the Book

Does a Muslim man have the right to marry a Christian or Jewish woman as the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not marry Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah, rather she was his concubine. The Muqawqis, the ruler of Egypt, gave her as gift to him after the Treaty of al-Hudaybiyah. 

It is permissible to have intercourse with a slave woman, even if she is not Muslim, because she is part of “what one's right hand possesses,” and Allaah has permitted “what one's right hand possesses” without stipulating that the slave woman be a Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess,.. for then, they are free from blame”

[al-Mu’minoon 23:5-6] 

With regard to marrying a Christian or Jewish woman, this is permissible according to the text of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5] 

Ibn al-Qayyim said: 

It is permissible to marry a woman from the People of the Book. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste [muhsan] women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5] 

Muhsan here means chaste; the same word is also used in Soorat al-Nisa’ to describe married women, who are forbidden in marriage to anyone else. And it was said that the chaste women to whom marriage is permitted is free women, so slave women from the People of the Book are not permissible. However, the first view is the one which is correct, for several reasons… 

The point is that Allaah has permitted us to marry chaste women from among the People of the Book, and the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that. ‘Uthmaan married a Christian woman, as did Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah; and Hudhayfah married a Jewish woman. 

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ahmad said: I asked my father about a Muslim man who married a Christian or Jewish woman. He said: I do not like for him to do it, but if he does, then some of the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that too. 

Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 2/794, 795. 

Although we say that it is permissible, and we do not doubt that there is a clear text concerning that, nevertheless we do not think that a Muslim should marry a kitaabi woman (a woman of the people of the Book), for several reasons: 

1 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that she should be chaste, but there are very few chaste women to be found in those environments. 

2 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that the Muslim man should be in charge of the family. But what happens nowadays in that those who marry women from kaafir countries marry them under their laws, and there is a great deal of injustice in their systems. They do not recognize a Muslim’s authority over his wife and children, and if the wife gets angry with her husband she will destroy his household and take the children away, with the support of the laws of her land and with the help of their embassies in most countries. It is no secret that the Muslim countries have no power to resist the pressure of those countries and their embassies.

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who are religiously committed. If a woman is Muslim but is not religiously committed and of good character, then the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only, rather it is the matter of Allaah’s rights and the spouse’s rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his wealth, and bringing up his children. How can a man who marries a kitaabi woman be certain that his sons and daughters will be raised according to Islam when he is leaving them in the hands of this mother who does not believe in Allaah and associates others with Him? 

Hence even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good morals. 

He should realize that if he forsakes these type of women for the sake of that which is better for his religious commitment and that of his children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, because “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us, the one who speaks the truth and does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is the source of strength and the One Who guides to the Straight Path. 

See also the answer to question no. 2527 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on customary (‘urfi) marriage – and is it permissible for the wife to move to another wali at whim?

My country is fool of aglomerations of evils,this is worse on university campuses, for this reason students want to get married before graduation, the parents are the biggest problem.As for the male we hear that they do not need the permission of thier waliy, as for female we excape this by making a proposal, if the father gives an unislamic reason(e.g i don't want you to marry now,I don't like his tribe,I am not please with his jumping trouser or beard keeping or his religion when the brother is an upright sunni and the sister's waliy is not) then we abandon him for the grandfather or the brother.If they also refuse then we go ahead with the marraige with the amir of our society (MSS;muslims student society) Please is this correct, how is it done. Please explain everything about this act because it is the only way out, and already very common around us , if it is wrong what should those that have done it now do .(some of them now have kids).

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to get married without the permission of her wali (guardian), rather it is essential for her to have a wali who will get her married, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879 – from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1840. 

Al-Tirmidhi said, commenting on that: 

This is the principle that was followed by the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), including ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and others. Thus it was narrated that some of the fuqaha’ of the Taabi’een such as Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan al-Basri, Shurayh, Ibraaheem al-Nakha’i, ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez and others said: There is no marriage except with a wali. This is also the view of Sufyaan al-Thawri, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak, Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq. End quote. 

In the answer to question no. 2127 you will find an important summary of the conditions and essentials of marriage, and the conditions to be met by the wali. 

In the answer to question no. 7989 there are further important details concerning the importance of having a wali in order for the marriage to be valid. 

Secondly: 

Allaah has commanded walis to marry off the women who are under their care, and not to mistreat them by preventing them from getting married for no legitimate reason. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the people)”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

Similarly, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded walis not to prevent the marriage of the woman whom Allaah has placed under their care if a suitor whose religious commitment and character are good comes to propose marriage. He said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah and widespread mischief in the land.” Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1084. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1868). 

Both the verse and the hadeeth quoted point clearly to two things: 

1 – The command to arrange the marriage is addressed to the wali, which indicates that the matter has to do with him and the nikaah cannot be done unless he is involved in giving his female relative or ward in marriage to the one who has proposed marriage. The ahaadeeth that we have quoted clearly indicate this and support it. 

2 – It is not permissible for a wali to mistreat his ward and deny her her right to marriage; that is a kind of mistreatment that leads to great fitnah that affects both religious commitment and worldly interests. 

If both the woman and her wali act in accordance with this, the security of the family will be achieved and a great deal of evil will be removed from matters of religion and morals. 

But if the wali refuses to give her her rights to marriage with no legitimate reason, it is permissible for her to move to another, more distantly-related, wali, such as her older brother, paternal uncle or grandfather, so long as that is done on the orders of the shar’i qaadi, and not by her or by her walis. If there is no wali from her family, it is permissible for the qaadi or someone who is in a similar position to act as her wali and arrange her marriage, because it is narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, and if there is a dispute then the person in authority is the wali of the one who has no wali.”  

Based on this, there is no sin on a woman whose wali denies her her right to marriage if she refers the matter to the Muslim qaadi and appoints her grandfather, paternal uncle or older brother as her wali. 

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan was asked about a similar issue and he replied: 

It is not permissible for a woman to arrange her own marriage. If she arranges her own marriage, then her marriage is invalid according to the majority of scholars, both ancient and contemporary. That is because Allaah, may He be exalted and glorified, addresses walis with regard to the issue of marriage and He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him…” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali and two witnesses of good character.” 

With regard to what the questioner mentions about having read in some books of fiqh that a woman may arrange her own marriage, this is the weaker view, and the correct view is that which is supported by evidence that indicates the opposite.  

With regard to what she says about her situation and that her opinion goes against her father’s, because her father wants her to marry a man who is of good lineage and status and is compatible with her, whereas she does not think that is important, and rather she is inclined towards marrying a man who she thinks is religiously committed, even if he is not of good lineage and status or compatible with her, her father is in the right in this case, and her father is more far-sighted. She may imagine that this person is good for her when in fact he is not good for her, and she has no right to go against her father’s wishes so long as he is looking out for her best interests. If it happens that another person is good for her and is compatible with her in status, lineage and religious commitment, but her father refuses to give her to him in marriage, then in that case he is being unjust in preventing the marriage, and the role of wali then passes to the next closest guardian among her relatives. But in this case it is essential to refer the matter to the qaadi so that the guardianship may be passed from the unjust father to another wali. Neither she nor any of her other walis has the right to conduct her marriage without the approval of her father. It is essential to refer the matter to a Muslim qaadi who will examine the matter and assess the situation. If he thinks that the guardianship should pass to someone else, he will transfer it, according to what is best. It is essential for things to be done properly with regard to marriage. End quote. 

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 5/242, 243 

Thirdly: 

Whoever gets married in a manner that is not Islamically acceptable, such as a woman who gets married without a wali, her marriage is invalid and the couple must be separated immediately. The children are to be attributed to the man who married the woman, if they thought that what they did was permissible, but if they knew that their marriage was invalid, then the children must be attributed only to their mother. 

This invalid marriage leads to many negative consequences, such as: loss of the woman’s rights, because there is no proof of this marriage, so her entitlement to the mahr is not proven, nor is she entitled to maintenance. It also leads to the spread of immorality and corruption in society, especially among students, since it is possible, by means of these false contracts, for every pregnant woman or every man and woman who are found in a dubious situation, to claim that they are married by means of customary marriage. It also means that it is not possible to prove the children’s lineage in such a marriage, which means that they and their lineage will be lost.  

The way to set this matter straight is to go to the wali and tell him frankly what has happened, then to do the marriage contract again, with his agreement. If he does not agree, then they should be separated. 

And Allaah knows best.

A Christian woman is asking whether her marriage to a Muslim is valid

I am a Christian woman, recently married to a Muslim man.  Due to our different beliefs, we were married in a courthouse, as opposed to a Mosque.  Does the Muslim belief still see this as a "real" marriage?  I have researched this, and was surprised to read that the Islam belief does not honor this as a real wedding?  Please confirm...I am very much in love with this man!

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: if the marriage contract was done with:

1.     the proposal of your guardian – who may be your father or whoever is acting in his place if he is not there, on the condition that he is of the same religion as you – by his saying, for example, “I offer my daughter in marriage to you.”

2.     Acceptance on the part of the husband by saying, for example, “I accept.”

3.     The contract was done in the presence of two Muslim witnesses

 – then the marriage is valid. (For more details on the conditions of marriage, see question no. 2127 and the section on conditions of marriage on this web site). If any of these conditions is missing, then the marriage is not valid, and you have to do it again. The place where the marriage contract is done does not have any effect on the validity of the marriage. 

Secondly: this question caught our attention because of your keen interest in finding out the rules of the Islamic religion concerning this matter. Perhaps this will lead you to enquire about greater realities, the most important of which is, which is the true religion? 

Permit us to ask you the following questions: 

Do you want a happy life? Do you care about finding contentment? Are you looking for the truth? Do you want a good and righteous life for your children? 

If you do, then please – may Allaah guide you and us to the truth – consider the following: 

That Allaah has created mankind for a great purpose, which is to worship Allaah alone with no partner or associate. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone).

I seek not any provision from them (i.e. provision for themselves or for My creatures) nor do I ask that they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures).

Verily, Allaah is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong”

[al-Dhaariyaat 51:56-58] 

Allaah sent the Messengers to call mankind to this purpose. He said (interpretation of the meaning):

 “And verily, We have sent among every Ummah (community, nation) a Messenger (proclaiming): “Worship Allaah (Alone), and avoid (or keep away from) Taaghoot (all false deities, i.e. do not worship Taaghoot besides Allaah).” Then of them were some whom Allaah guided and of them were some upon whom the straying was justified. So travel through the land and see what was the end of those who denied (the truth)”

[al-Nahl 16:36]

 Then Allaah sent the final Messenger, Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He was the last of the Prophets and Messengers. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but he is the Messenger of Allaah and the last (end) of the Prophets. And Allaah is Ever All-Aware of everything”

[al-Ahzaab 33:40] 

“Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah. And those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down prostrate (in prayer), seeking Bounty from Allaah and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e. of their Faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the Tawraat (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel) is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, and becomes thick and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers, that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allaah has promised those among them who believe (i.e. all those who follow Islamic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad till the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e. Paradise)”

[al-Fath 48:29] 

One of the reasons why He sent the Messengers was so as to establish proof against mankind, lest they say, “No Messenger came to us and no one told us that Allaah commanded us to worship Him.” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, We have sent the Revelation to you (O Muhammad) as We sent the Revelation to Nooh (Noah) and the Prophets after him; We (also) sent the Revelation to Ibraaheem (Abraham), Ismaa‘eel (Ishmael), Ishaaq (Isaac), Ya‘qoob (Jacob), and Al-Asbaat [the offspring of the twelve sons of Ya‘qaab (Jacob)], ‘Eesa (Jesus), Ayyoob (Job), Yoonus (Jonah), Haaroon (Aaron), and Sulaymaan (Solomon); and to Daawood (David) We gave the Zaboor (Psalms).

And Messengers We have mentioned to you before, and Messengers We have not mentioned to you, — and to Moosa (Moses) Allaah spoke directly.

Messengers as bearers of good news as well as of warning in order that mankind should have no plea against Allaah after the (coming of) Messengers. And Allaah is Ever All-Powerful, All-Wise

[al-Nisaa’ 4:163-165] 

We call you, and everyone who does not follow the religion of Islam, to hasten to obey the command of Allaah by believing in Him alone, with no partner or associate, and to believe in His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), whom Allaah sent to all of creation, men and jinn alike. Allaah has commanded them to do this, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the Messenger (Muhammad) with the truth from your Lord. So believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then certainly to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth. And Allaah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Wise.

O people of the Scripture (Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, nor say of Allaah aught but the truth. The Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), was (no more than) a Messenger of Allaah and His Word, (“Be!” — and he was) which He bestowed on Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Rooh) created by Him; so believe in Allaah and His Messengers. Say not: “Three (trinity)!” Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allaah is (the only) One Ilaah (God), glory is to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allaah is All-Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:170-171] 

Allaah has told us in His Noble Book (the Qur’aan) that He does not accept any religion other than Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):

“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:85] 

“Allaah bears witness that Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), and the angels, and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He always) maintains His creation in justice. Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.

Truly, the religion with Allaah is Islam. Those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) did not differ except, out of mutual jealousy, after knowledge had come to them. And whoever disbelieves in the Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allaah, then surely, Allaah is Swift in calling to account

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:18-19]

 Do not forget that if you become Muslim, it will be better for your children, so that they will not be confused or suffer from mental anguish, and say, “Our father is a Muslim and our mother is a Christian, so who should we follow?” 

Perhaps thinking through these matters more deeply will lead to a good result, by Allaah’s leave. Strive to read a sound translation of the Qur’aan, which is considered to be the miracle of the Prophet of Islam, then read the biography of the Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and how Allaah granted success to him and his Companions, and how Allaah supported him with miracles, such as making water flow from between his fingers and the splitting the moon, when the mushrikoon (polytheists) asked for a sign – so he commanded the moon to split, and it split in two – and other events which are recorded in his Seerah (biography). And he also spoke of unseen matters which could not be known except by means of Revelation, such as when he said that the empires of the Persians and Romans (Byzantines) would be conquered before it happened, and other matters which are indicative of his Prophethood. We ask Allaah to guide us all.